Leaving Home

I spent seven years in a boys’ home, from the age of 9 to 16. It was located about 50 kilometres north of London where our family lived. My parents had separated and my father who was responsible for our care, was finding it difficult.

The boys’ home cared for orphans and those from broken homes. My younger brother, who was 7 years old at the time, was sent with me.

Arrival and Separation

When we arrived, we were separated. My brother was placed with the younger boys, while I was sent to a location for slightly older boys. The main home was for boys aged 12 and over.

I was too young to understand what was happening, but this was the beginning of a completely new life, one that would shape my character and influence the way I approached life in general.

Life Inside the Home

At such a young age, boys will be boys, and my experience reflected that. The routine was strict and taught us to do as we were told, but within that system we created a world of our own. We formed close friendships and found freedoms known only to us—climbing across the roofs of the interconnected buildings, sneaking out to meet school friends, and, as we grew older, girls. Because we attended schools outside the Home, we had school friends and gained a broader view of ordinary life plus a little more independence.

Discipline, Religion, and Sport

Although the Home was restrictive, it was well run and offered many opportunities to learn within its system. Religion played a major role, with regular church services, Bible readings, hymns, and prayers etc. Much of it was learned and remembered, though not always accepted. Sport was also highly valued, with football, cricket, hockey, and swimming all encouraged, especially if you had any talent.

Adolescence and Leaving

As I entered my teens, I naturally became more rebellious. A few of us were given greater freedom, which we often used in ways that were not intended. The staff were not really equipped to deal with growing teenagers and, inevitably, at the age of 16 years, I had to leave and return to my father in London.

During my time in the Home, I rarely saw my younger brother and had very few visits from my parents. As a result, I became self-reliant yet not mature enough to know how to manage in the outside world.

Life After the Home

After a short time working for my father in his small building business, and with little guidance from my peers, I joined the Royal Navy—an environment that, in many ways felt familiar because of my disciplined upbringing. As I matured, I realised, that although I had experienced and learned a great deal with the Royal Navy, it was not for me. I left after ten years’ service at the age of 27 years, not knowing what the future would hold.